You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
