i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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