sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
