we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
