Nicole vs. Life
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
