yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize