In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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