Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize