areolas are like halos for boobs.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You have to summon your inner elephant
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You were trust falling into bushes
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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