Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
