I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
