I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
