very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
