Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
