he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
