whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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