Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
is it fun? or sober?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
