Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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