what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
