Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
