im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
