Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
