38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
