I want to make a zoo with you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
