im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
