Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
