I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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