just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
