I CAN MOONWALK!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
