he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize