oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
