I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
