hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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