so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How's work?
Spinning.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You need Xanax blowdarts
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
