We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize