You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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