why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's never too late to be topless.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
