she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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