I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The power of my boobs compel you
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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