I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I didn't notice because vodka
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
