He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
