He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
