I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
