Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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