im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
North Korea, Best Korea!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
