Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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