ya dads aren't the best wingmen
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
