gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize