I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
