gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
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