Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
