what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
