you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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