Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
