Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
