i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
