handjob tips. give me some.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
