Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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