its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
