question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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