it wasn't lemon gatorade
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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