help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
