how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
