rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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