Have you finally orgasmed yet?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
