we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
