Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
