My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
