Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
