I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
