we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
