Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize