Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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