doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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