Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Randomize
