Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
there is glitter all over my balls
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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