So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
