Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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