So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize