you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
