our cab driver is having phone sex.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
