dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
