She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize