Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
