I am full of burrito and curiosity
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize